


Induction

by spaze_cat



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Dubious Consent, Forgiveness, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Turtlecest, tcest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-11-13 02:02:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11174700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaze_cat/pseuds/spaze_cat
Summary: During a battle with the Kraang, Raphael is injected with a mysterious purple liquid that causes him to lose control of his body and his mind. Under the influence of this alien drug, Raph rapes Donnie. When the toxin finally wears off, their family is left to pick up the pieces.(((UPDATE STATUS: INDEFINITE HIATUS)))





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know I've got other stories going, but I just couldn't keep myself from writing this one out. Enjoy a healthy dose of emotional pain, kiddos!

They never should have gone into that building. Raph couldn’t even remember why they did.

It had to be explained to him… _after_ … that a reliable source told them it was a front for some Kraang operation. They planned to stake the building out, their mission only to gain intel. Hoping they could sneak in, undetected, and sneak back out knowing more about what was supposedly going on.

Sometime during this stealth mission, Mikey had unknowingly stepped into the path of some invisible laser, setting off alarms and blowing their cover. During their fight to escape, Raph had somehow been injected with a purple liquid. Everything happened so fast that none of them could recall how exactly that Kraang had gotten the drop on him.

Well, perhaps Donnie had seen it. But he wasn’t talking to Raph right now.

They’d all thought it was some kind of mutagen, until they realized Raph wasn’t morphing into a different creature before their eyes. In fact, he didn’t react at all, really, which in some ways was even more worrying. They’d fallen back, and after making sure they hadn’t been followed, they headed back to the safety of the lair, hoping that whatever was running through Raph’s system wasn’t going to kill him.

Apparently, he’d been fine for a few days. He remembered that part, actually. Some of it. He hadn’t actually _been_ fine, but he wasn’t sick, either, and there was no way in hell he was bringing any of this up to his brothers.

Because what that alien juice did to him seemed so harmless at the time. So… _meaningless_.

First, there was the heat. He wasn’t afraid to tell Donnie that part, because it could have meant a fever, an oncoming of something much, much worse. But he knew it wasn’t a fever, because he didn’t feel like his limbs were going to fall off. He didn’t feel weakened, or nauseous. He didn’t want to worry his family when he felt fine.

So he didn't tell anyone.

And okay, it wasn’t _fine_. The heat was pretty brutal. It seeped into every cell of his body, made it feel like he was constantly soaking in a hot bath. But he didn’t sweat buckets, or dehydrate. So it couldn’t have been a fever. He couldn’t have been sick. So why worry his family over what was probably nothing?

But it was _everything_. He should have told them, but he didn’t. And he could never go back and change that.

The heat didn’t fade, but instead brought with it another symptom. The _urges_.

It took so little to set him off. Donnie bending over some mechanic creation of his to work on its guts. Donnie licking his spoon to get the last drops of ice cream. Donnie sticking his tongue out when he was concentrating on mixing volatile chemicals.

It was only Donnie. _Always_ Donnie. It took every ounce of control Raph could possibly muster to keep himself from Donnie. And by the third day, every ounce of his control was no longer enough.

So he locked himself in his room. He propped a chair up under the door knob and moved several other pieces of furniture in front of it. He then spent the entire day writhing on his bed, furiously masturbating to try and get rid of his constant erection, hoping to anything none of his family would ever find him like that.

It took a full day for his brothers to break the door down. Donnie was the first inside, the first to _see_ …

To see Raph lost to them, rutting against his soaked pillow, desperate for yet another release…

And Donnie had immediately turned around, ushered Leo and Mikey back out of the room. Said he could handle it on his own, that Raph would be okay, but to give him privacy. This was something they did not want to see.

And it wasn’t. What happened next was definitely not something they wanted to see.

Donnie should have let his brothers enter that room. He needed the backup, the extra pairs of hands to keep Raph from doing… what he did.

But he didn’t. Because he’s Donnie, and all he wanted to do was spare his brother some embarrassment.

He paid so, so dearly for that mistake. And Raphael would never earn his forgiveness.

And even if he did, he would never deserve it.

\---

Donatello stood in front of a mirror.

He didn’t look different on the outside. Maybe the bags under his eyes, the ones he usually hid behind his mask, were slightly bigger. And there was the frown. The frown he couldn’t seem to wipe off his face if his life depended on it.

He tried to brush it off as a mask, like the one Leo wore when he didn’t want anyone to see how much being the new _Sensei_ was killing him. But Leo and Mikey saw right through that. They each had their interpretations of what it meant, though. Or at least, it seemed that way.

Leo saw that frown like a seven-foot pole, a frown that pushed them all away because he needed space. And Don liked that, and understood why Leo thought that way. But he also needed Mikey’s way of seeing things. The constant company, the distraction to keep him from stewing in his own mind. Don clung to Mikey like a life raft, even begun emulating certain behaviors of his, perhaps in a vain attempt to force some of that cheerfulness back into his own life.

But Mikey’s optimism didn’t come from his lifestyle. Don should have known that.

There was a lot of things Don should have known about his brothers. Things that could have saved him from…

But it wasn’t Raphael’s fault. He knew that, and yet it didn’t help. Whether it was because of Raph, or because of the Kraang didn’t matter. What mattered was that something inside of him had been shattered beyond repair, and for all his genius, he didn’t know how to fix it.

And now his image of Raphael had been tarnished. The turtle he’d come to admire so deeply, the turtle he’d… he’d _fallen_ for… had ruined every fantasy Don’s stupid heart had wished so dearly for.

He’d seen himself, in countless dreams, lying in that bed with Raph. They moved slowly together, but _hard_ , and the whole time Raph was talking. That sweet, smoky voice of his whispering endearments into his ear. Whispering things Don so desperately needed to hear about himself. Like that he was so much more than his mind, that all of his failings were nothing in the wake of his successes.

That he wasn’t the disgusting mutant his unsuccessful crush on April had convinced him he was. That he was desirable, wanted, _loved_.

And instead, he’d been held down by a body so frustratingly stronger than his own. He’d been used like an animal, and the words he wanted to hear were so terribly absent, replaced only with grunts and sharp breaths and growls every time he struggled, every time he cried out for help.

Every time he sobbed.

That wasn’t the Raphael he’d fallen for. He knew that. Whatever the Kraang had done to him had been no fault of his.

And yet.

And yet just looking at Raphael made his whole body tense, made flashes of what happened in that bedroom come back to him. He hated the sad look in those beautiful green eyes because he understood it. He hated making Raph feel like such a monster, but he just… couldn’t…

He couldn’t separate the emotionless, hungry animal he’d seen in that bedroom from the complex, passionate yet tender turtle he’d fallen in love with.

He was so afraid that he never would.

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Raph rarely left his room.

It was hard to sit there, staring at the place where he’d violated his brother, but what was worse was that he couldn’t remember a moment of it.

Other than the heat, and the urges. At some point during that day when he’d locked himself in his room, a part of him had been locked away as well. Eventually his mind had shut down, and the last thing he remembered was seeing Donnie carefully approaching him, trying to soothe him.

Trying to _help_ him…

Raph sat in the same uncomfortable chair he’d used to block the door and faced that bed. He’d long since changed the sheets, let the mattress dry out because his sweat, cum, and probably Donnie’s tears had soaked all the way through it. He would have left the mess, to provide himself even more well-deserved torture, if it wasn’t for the _smell_.

As far as he was concerned, that mattress would never be clean. He’d have to go search some junkyard for another one.

But he wouldn’t give himself the luxury of a bed right now. He had to remember, first.

Because if he didn’t force himself to remember every horrible thing he’d done to Donnie, he would never know a fraction of what he went through.

And even if it hurt him to think of what happened, even if remembering would _kill_ him, he deserved it, because he was...

He was the one who _did_ that to Donnie.

He knew Donnie didn’t blame him. Not directly. And that was worse than if he did, because Raph did blame himself. Sure, the drugs had induced some kind of primal instinct in him, but Raph should have been able to break through its clutches. He should have seen what was happening and controlled himself.

He… he _loved_ Donnie, and he shouldn’t have let the drug ruin that.

Another reason he rarely left was because he didn’t want to run into Donnie. He’d seen him a few times since, and each time the genius had gone stiff. Raph could see panic running through him like a base fight or flight response. He looked like cornered prey every time his eyes so much as fell on Raph, and he did not want to see Donnie like that.

To see Donnie look at him like… like he was…

So he tried his best to be invisible, because he thought that was probably what Donnie wanted.

Until one night when Leo came to him.

“We need to talk,” he said, after standing quietly in the doorway for several minutes.

“Understatement of the year.” Raph chuckled dryly.

“I’m serious, Raphael.”

“I know.”

Despite that, Leo said nothing else. Raph knew he was trying to get him to talk first, and normally would have put up a stubborn fight just to foil Leo’s perfect cunning plan. But he just couldn’t bring himself to care about that now.

“I hurt him,” Raph began. “I hurt him _bad_ , Leo.”

“Yes,” Leo said quietly, his words almost a whisper. “But that wasn’t you.”

“I don’t care,” Raph said, “And neither does he.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do.” Raph rubbed his tired eyes. “No one cares what the Kraang did to me. It was _my_ face he saw when I…”

“You can’t avoid each other forever,” Leo said, stepping in so Raph didn’t have to finish that sentence. “If you don’t face this together, this family will never be whole again.”

“I can’t,” Raph said. “Every time he sees me he looks like he’s gonna start hyperventilating. And I don’t blame him.”

“He does need some time,” Leo admitted. “But if you wait too long, you’ll lose him forever.”

Raph finally looked away from the bed to meet Leo’s eyes.

“I know you care for him,” Leo explained. “More than a brother would.”

“That doesn’t disgust you?” Raph asked, searching his brother’s eyes. “Me, challenging your human code of honor?”

“It’s not about honor,” Leo said. “It’s about us, as a family. We need to be balanced and on the same page. Always. If we aren’t, it puts all of us in danger.”

Raph snapped his eyes back to the bed. “We seemed pretty balanced before. And one of us still got hurt.”

“Not just one of us,” Leo said.

They were quiet again, but this time the silence wasn’t expectant. Neither of them had to say anything, but Raph did have something to say.

“I need to know how to fix this,” Raph told him. “But what could I possibly do to make it right?”

“Maybe you can’t,” Leo said. “This isn’t something that can just be reversed. It’s like when father… when Master Splinter passed on. We will always feel that loss, that hole he left behind. But we’ve each made our peace with it.”

“So what do you want me to do?” Raph challenged. “I can’t talk to him because he’s afraid to even look at me. And even if I could, it’s not like there’s anything to say. Words aren’t going to change anything.”

“But communication will,” Leo insisted. “There are multiple ways to communicate. And we both know words aren’t your strong suit.”

Raph shot Leo a look, but his brother didn’t seem to be teasing him. 

“Though, I disagree with what you said,” Leo continued. “I think there are many things to say, things that he needs to hear from you.”

Leo left Raph with those words, and Raph felt a palpable emptiness in the silence he left behind.

\---

Don jumped when he heard the knock on the lab’s door, and hated himself for being so skittish.

“Donnie?”

That smoky voice froze him in place. He breathed long and slow through his nostrils until his heart stopped hammering in his chest.

“Yeah?” He was pleased at how calm he sounded, given the circumstances.

“We need to talk.”

They did. They _really_ did. Because what happened was not okay, and if they didn’t at least try to fix what was now broken between them, there was no telling what further consequences could arise.

But his hands were shaking, hovering above his keyboard though every muscle in his system was ready to make a quick millisecond grab for his bo. He carried it with him all the time now. It was never more than a foot away.

Just… just in case, Don reasoned. Just in case whatever serum the Kraang had given to Raph hadn’t actually worn off. Pretending Raph was now symptomless could just be one more effect of the drug.

Don wasn’t about to take any chances. Raph could attack him again.

“I just... want to be alone, Raph,” Don choked out.

He didn’t add that the very thought of talking about what happened, of letting those awful memories come floating back to the surface of his consciousness, scared him worse than death.

Raph didn’t answer for several minutes, but Don knew he was still just outside the door. A strong, heavy metal door that was now always locked was the only thing between them.

It didn’t feel like enough.

“I can’t just sit here and do nothing,” Raph pleaded. _Pleaded_. Raphael _never_ begged, but he was certainly begging now. “I want to fix this, but I don’t know how. You’re the only one who’s any good at fixing things around here. Just… tell me what I need to do, and I’ll do it. I’ll do anything you ask of me, Donnie.”

Don’s hands slowly fell against the desk, curled into fists as his brain worked.

He wanted to fix this, too. He wanted so badly for things to go back to the way they were before. He wanted his first time with Raph to mean something. He wanted it to feel good, to be like a dream.

All he’d gotten, all he would ever have, was a nightmare.

He told himself that he didn’t blame Raph, but the way his body always tensed around him, the way anger and sorrow and pain swirled around in his mind every time he so much as thought of him…

Maybe he did blame Raph after all.

“I need you to leave me alone,” Don said coldly.

And after a few tense moments of hesitation, Raph did as he was told.


End file.
